White Wedding will be at the 229 Club on Portland Street Saturday 13th November from 9.30om onwards.  They will have wedding tunes, a photobooth and some other silly stuff to enjoy.  Hmm, Facebook tells me we’re going, are you?  Sounds like they might be able to squeeze a few more guests in.

To win these two free invites/tickets – all you have to do is mail wedding@bringstuff.com to be in with a chance of winning with the answer to this question:

Name a duty the best man has to perform.

If you need a clue, you may want to search around a bit…

Make sure you email your full name and telephone number with the answer.

Of course if you want to be wrong and make one up, the best and funniest ones will get published here.  One winner will be randomly selected using the Master Computer (my mum) and will be notified by email around 5pm Thursday 11th November. That is also coincedently the closing date of the competition.

© 2012 Bring Stuff. All Rights Reserved except the Lefts.

Bring Stuff wants yer ter download this here Song sheet so yer can sing Pirate shanties at every opportunity.  Not many shanties are included, mostly it be Pirate Parody songs courtesy of teh internets and the boggling mind of Giacomo – but hey!  We be Piratical with Piratittude so when has plundering been a problem?

Just as a little sampler, try this ‘ere beauty ter the tune of Bad Romance by Lady Gaga

I knows you’re ugly
And prob’ly diseased.
I want yer money,
’cause it’s fer me!
I want yer Gold!
Gold, Gold, Gold, I want yer Gold!

Now that yer got the taste of Grog in yer mouth, download the Pirate Song sheet here.

A selection of tunes are below ter help you sing the songs:

© 2012 Bring Stuff. All Rights Reserved except the Lefts.

Pirates be needin’ lovin too yer know.

Ter help facilitate this bea-yutiful togetherness, this here be a Hug a Pirate Voucher!

Click on the picture below to download a tasty PDF fer printin’.

Pirates can be givin’ it out ter lovely serving wenches or rugged sailors they be seein’ around the fair ports around the seven seas.

Good townsfolk who likes a bit a o’danger can use ‘em ter get their pirate jollies.  Be warned though, we be not takin’ responsibility for consequences such as massive consumption of Rum.

Download this here voucher by clicking here and enjoy it.

© 2012 Bring Stuff. All Rights Reserved except the Lefts.

And to think I nearly braved going home to get some hats and tashes – private booth karaoke becomes extremely special when you have a ‘thirsty’ button with a useful waitress who appears in the blink of an eye and a box of dress-up paraphernalia.

Now I likes me some Karaoke, it’s true. In the past I was used to seedy PA systems at restaurants, caterwauling on street corners and even whispered lullabies to sleeping babes (none of mine own). Nothing prepares you for a private session though, in luxurious surroundings, with a fully stocked and prepared cocktail bar with delightful canapés and such friendly and charming hosts.

My visit to the Islington branch of Lucky Voice was courtesy of Qype and Windows 7 Mobile and possibly I wouldn’t have ventured so far north to check out this venue. After spending a roaring night of rapping, singing and laughing I have so many good memories that I really would consider dragging my pals to do it, not because the central London venue is booked. Even when I wandered away from the bar to munch on more Hoisin Duck pancakes (folded elegantly like a seaside chip wrapper cone) to find my Mohito delivered to a charming young lady, nothing bothered the bar staff. He was already making a replacement for me, rather then leave it to melt on the bar edge – a sign of good training and thoughtfulness.

Being of Mediterranean blood, I tend to generate enough heat to power a small island and I would have preferred more air-conditioning in the booths – not to say it’s rubbish – but as I danced more and got even hotter, I felt the need to take the occasional mulligan in the sumptuous bar area to cool down at times. Aside from that, top times all round!

Check out my review of Lucky Voice – I am Bring_Stuff – on Qype

© 2012 Bring Stuff. All Rights Reserved except the Lefts.

So facial furniture gave me a reason to expand my natural hirsuteness and see what else people could do with the recipe.  I quite like going out in Shoreditch too as you never can tell what you’re going to see or do.  For example, as we were waiting outside Hoxton Square a large police van pulled over and three coppers jumped out to accost a skinny jeaned youth, looking to find out what the long black thing in his hand was.  Expecting drugs or maybe even a flick-knife, the police seemed relieved to see it was a thin moustache, to the amusement of his plaid shirted jokers.  These guys weren’t even with us.

Rather dismally, the bouncers at the Electricity Showrooms did not get the memo and decided to be angry and rubbish – proclaiming “no fancy dress” as we tried to sneak in.

We quickly blew them off, updated Facebook and hoped people would find us over the road at the rather nice bar trafik.

In my chefs garb outside trafik I quickly made friends with the manager, mostly because people kept coming up to ask me what ‘is good tonight’ and ‘what are the specials tonight’ before heading in.  My Italian presence seemed to channel the hunger for pizza and spicy meatballs through the crowds wandering past.  Being a simple man from the country I didn’t realise that half of the enquiries probably weren’t about the food menu at the bar.

There were some spectacular lashes, costumes, piercings (although they may well have been real…) and even a real piece of ‘facial furniture’ in gold and black!

The stickers and cards we’d brung made friends with everyone, but I think the marker pens were the most popular.  A group of ladies allowed me to demonstrate on one of their number an ‘arm-tattoo’ and they proceeded to draw on themselves and other randoms throughout the bar.

I managed to escape with only a red pen mark to the face and a green inky legend on my apron proclaiming “Laura loves IT”, I never did find out which branch of Information Technology she was into or if she was a Mac or a PC.

As the After-Eights were withdrawn from the darker recesses of my bag, a quick demonstration soon showed everyone how to play the game.  If you’ve never played before, this is how it works:

01. Place After-Eight on forehead.

02. Wiggle head and use tongue to get chocolate into your mouth.

03. Do *not* use hands to move chocolate.

04. If chocolate falls on the ground, you lose.  If it goes in your mouth, you win!

After Anup proved himself the first place sticky-chocolate face of the night, he foolishly tried to do two at once.

After hearing seventeen subtly different versions of Lady Gaga’s songs at the club we dispersed into the night parading the giant Fork and Chef through the various fast food outlets of Old Street.  The rubber chicken tasted chicken flesh for the first time and we made friends with the ugliest kebab shop owner mankind has ever known.

On the night bus we shared the furry bounty of the night with different people heading south of the river.

One emotionally clad girl proclaimed that she would name her first-born (she wasn’t pregnant) after me as she loving caressed her new tashe in her bus-window reflection.  It’s kind of comforting to know there will be another Giacomo in the world one day.

To see all the photo’s from this wonderous night out, click on http://www.bringstuff.com/pictures

© 2012 Bring Stuff. All Rights Reserved except the Lefts.

My previous experience of court has unfortunately been a steady diet of LA Law starring Corben Bernsen (who once swapped a part in his film with the red paperclip guy).  All the lawyers wore cheap shiny suits and the only robe was on the judge.

What I found slightly more distressing here is that no hats are allowed without the permission of the Judge! Really?  But you wear a wig!

A practice that is reflected in it’s tradition, it’s still a little unnerving to talk to a man in a wig who is taking the wearing of the wig very very seriously.  At our recent Hats and Wigs party I remember being told by a young skinhead that the headwear made people feel invisible; either it was ignored or they were.  In court you don’t ignore the wig, you have to accept that it’s part of their uniform.

I can’t think of any other profession that requires a wig for it’s daily grind (except for strippers in some parts of the USA who have to wear a mirkin to avoid indecency laws) – can you?

© 2012 Bring Stuff. All Rights Reserved except the Lefts.

09. Your wardrobe contains lot’s of stripy clothes but no berets, strings of onions or French flags.

08. Downloading files from the Internet only seems like fun, when you’re drinking Rum.

07. You start to hate Ninjas for no other reason then they fight in pyjamas.

06. You’ve had Facebook in Pirate language since last year and still find it humorous that ‘Friends’ is ‘shipmates’.

05. Slapping your thigh is more acceptable then clapping to show appreciation.

04. Holidays to sunny climes are often planned around pillaging.. erm visiting Rum distilleries.

03. In casual conversation you can mention at least two famous female pirates.

02. An area of your bathroom is affectionally known as the Poop Deck.

01. Your parrot speaks better English then you does, arrr.

© 2012 Bring Stuff. All Rights Reserved except the Lefts.

Being a fellow Mediterraneanite, we had a lot to talk about, but then the conversation swam to photographs and thats when it became very interesting.

Mario runs a website called Someone Once Told Me, where he takes a black and white photo of you holding up a sign that has something that someone has once told you. It can be rumour, truth, anacronism or even pithy – as long as someone has once told it to you. you can even send them into him, he doesn’t mind.

Mario came along to the joint Team Nice Hats and Wigs party last weekend and armed with his usual tools in trade, he snapped quite a few people with his placard. I have yet to see the results, but I expect they will be appearing on his website shortly, or you could have a look here and wait patiently:

http://www.someoneoncetoldme.com

… or if you want to follow him on Twitter, you could follow him here @marioSOTM

© 2012 Bring Stuff. All Rights Reserved except the Lefts.

Enough of the teasing, last post deadline is Thursday 2nd April at 12.00pm (midday to you and me).  If by Thursday you haven’t gotten a ticket and would still like to come, add a comment to the website or send me a facebook message and we’ll work something out – I’m sure we might let in one or two people on the door if they are nice and friendly!  Tickets are selling fast and we’re getting close to selling out.

The DJ’s playing on the night are:

Gregg Rolley
Celebrity Murder Party
Aiee Bee Aitch
Celebrity Murder Party vs Superelectro
Bush No.10

All spinning us a wide variety of music from the 80′s, 90′s, 00′s, pop, electro and dance.

© 2012 Bring Stuff. All Rights Reserved except the Lefts.

These ticketed events are a fundraiser for a small London charity called Camp Cando, helping kids have a lovely summer experience.  As we’ve helped the Harlots and Camp Cando raise a bucket load of cash with the CMP over the last few years, this will be the last charity event we do with them.  Don’t worry, we’re planning something equally good next.

I don’t know where the recent wave of love and support has come from for this party – I can only conclude that people really do love the eighties and movies in equal amounts – especially to show this much love.

Drinking at the bar also helps raise money for Camp Cando, so don’t worry about not paying for these competition freebies. If you want to win these free tickets, head on over to the Londonist and try to answer their reasonably simple questions here:

http://londonist.com/2009/03/bring_stuff_back_to_the_eighties_-.php

If you need some help answering the questions, you could *cough* have a look on the event page wall as I’m sure someone will post some clues…

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=57822796399

…if you ask nicely!

© 2012 Bring Stuff. All Rights Reserved except the Lefts.